


I am not Eve

by TheHangedMan



Category: Granblue Fantasy (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, Mild Gore, Past Relationship(s), Post-What Makes the Sky Blue III: 000 (Granblue Fantasy), Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-16
Updated: 2020-02-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:48:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22762741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheHangedMan/pseuds/TheHangedMan
Summary: Something tugged at the edge of his mind; a garden, a serpent. A man held him sweetly and treated him kindly. The music that filled that place, his creator who walked beside him-No. No. He didn’t want to remember.
Relationships: Helel Ben Sahar/Lucilius (Granblue Fantasy), Lucilius/Lucio (Granblue Fantasy)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 39





	I am not Eve

All around the heavenly tower, darkness pressed in. A void of solitude, a prison of his own mind.

Ha, was this his punishment then? Had the speaker thought it just to trap him in such a place like an unruly animal? Even Belial, who had followed him into this place, was nowhere to be found. His conniving serpent was lost elsewhere, a victim of his own black, bleeding heart. 

The simple fool.

Here in this vast emptiness that divided dimension, he was alone, but not always. Even now, before him a figure, robed all in white, approached him. His righteous captor, the true speaker.

Disdain filled his heart.

“Again you’ve come to bother me according to your whims. Is it not enough for you to meditate quietly on the teachings of your master; must you inflict yourself on me as well?” Had his powers not been stripped of him here, he would have struck the speaker down on sight. 

“I simply thought that you could use the company. It must be lonely being here by yourself.”

“I should not have had only you for company, where is my serpent.” He demanded.

Truthfully, he didn’t know which of the two would have been worse company here, but in the very least the primarch would have been an asset and not a roadblock. 

“Belial? I sent him away before he could arrive here. This matter is between us. I did not think it wise to involve a denizen of the sky realms in this.”

“So his crimes are forgivable, but mine are not?”

“He is outside of my jurisdiction.”

At that, he found himself raising an eyebrow. “And my crimes are? What gives you the authority?”

The true speaker regarded him with a look of neutrality. “Does your cynicism ever grow tiring? I only wished to impart a modicum of revelation onto you.” 

“Spare me your condescending pity, you have nothing to offer me.”

Helel shook his head, “If only you had seen what I had seen, heard what I have heard. Maybe the burden of your heart would feel lighter with music filling your ears.”

He sneered.

“Do not play coy with me. Any song you play for me now would fall flat in comparison to what you intend to imitate. Once I too heard the music of creation. You are not as special as you believe yourself to be.”

Helel Ben Sahara’s lips parted in surprise. “Then you must know-“

“Once the wind spoke to me,” He stepped closer, closing the distance between the two of them, “ It wove together the melody of revelation. It inspired me to create in turn.”

Helel seemed perplexed, but he did not interrupt him again.

“Once the earth too had whispered in my ear, it told me of the beauty that dwelt within the work of my hands, the sweat of my brow, and the fruit of my labors. Once the waters of life served me. They nurtured my creations and the fire of the stars lit the furnace of my forge.” He stopped abruptly before the two of them could make contact, casting his gaze downward. This borrowed vessel was proof enough of the truth of his words.

“And there is great worth in that which you created.” The other man agreed. He did not shy away, even as he encroached upon his space. “I have seen it for myself.”

And so he created what the music whispered to him.

“The others were awed of course. The works of my hands were far greater than theirs.” He stated this matter factly. “They had not heard what I had, felt what I felt when the music whispered what it had to me. I was different from them.”

“Yes,” He agreed. “You are different, you are special.”

“It was isolating, being set apart. They did not know of the stranger behind the veil; the one who dwelt at the edge of my mind, sleeping and yet not. The one who was me and yet was not.”

The light of excitement flashed behind Helel’s eyes. “Yes that was me, your superior half. I was always watching over you.”

His fist shook, but he held his expression in check.

“Oh how I had longed to understand.”

“The time was not yet right.”

“Years passed, then decades, then centuries, then millennia and still the answer never came. The music carried on always swelling and changing with my influence but never growing any more sweet. It was then that I came to understand the truth.”

He paused and a smile spread across cold blue lips. Slowly he turned back to look at his ‘superior half.’

“The music’s author had abandoned me. I, the conductor had been cursed to labor unending, to steward creation along its predetermined path. So I turned away from all of it, blocked my ears to the song that creation sang to me. I began to pen my own tune and from the dirt I fashioned my own designs.”

“That’s not-“

Lucilius grabbed his face, clutching the soft skin in his deformed left hand. The veins glowed red with his anger. 

Handsome features stared back at him. Eyes as blue and as the vast the sky threatened to swallow him whole. The speaker was fair; he was beautiful. His body had been built strong; healthy. The creators had blessed him.

Bitterness welled up in his chest.

This body had never known strife or pain. He had already been built perfectly from the beginning; no underdeveloped lungs or brittle bones. The speaker had not been born in a body that did not feel like his own, he had been born a man not a cripple. 

Even now, in this borrowed skin- in Lucifer’s skin, he could not compare to his better half.

He scoffed.

“You think I am jaded; that I am mislead. You think that you can revive my soul with music once again and that together we can wait as two faithful brides waiting for the return of an absent husband.” 

His grip softened, thumb smoothing over the man’s jaw gently. 

“You think that you can fix me, make me see the error of my ways.” 

Helel Ben Sahar’s eyebrows knitted together and his bottom lip trembled. Even abandoned, he had waited faithfully. He had never dreamed of anything more than the return of his absent god. To push him to understand his own folly was wasted effort.

“I don’t…. I don’t want you to change.”

“And yet you are dissatisfied with the way I am.”

“Your body is different than I remember it in the garden Lilith, but if this is the form brings you more happiness then why would I be dissatisfied?”

Lucilius paused, staring hard at the other man. “What did you call me?”

Helel leaned into the hand against his cheek and closed his eyes. A soft smile graced his lips. “You don’t remember, ah… of course. The memories were taken from you in recompense for your defiance, your body shattered. But I remember.”

Memories? What memories? 

Something tugged at the edge of his mind; a garden, a serpent. A man held him sweetly and treated him kindly. The music that filled that place, his creator who walked beside him-

No. No. He didn’t want to remember.

Those were just echoes of false memories, the mind was a faulty thing. What he was thinking of were not memories outside of his reach, he was thinking of the works of his own hands. He had created his own garden, his own perfect Adam, his own red eyed serpent- 

-and then again that Adam had abandoned him once presented with a more perfect Eve. It had not been the first time he had been replaced. Quickly he tried to pull his hand away as again incomprehensible sorrow filled his breast. Still, as he tried to create distance between himself and the speaker, the other caught his hand before he could fully retract it.

“I never forgot about you, not for a moment. I couldn’t help myself, traversing the veil of dreams to seek you out. Even in the end, I couldn’t bring myself to strike you down as our creator wished me to. So Lilith… stay with me here. Do not leave my side again.”

He pushed himself up onto the tips of his toes and their lips met.

He stayed frozen for a long moment before the annoying feeling of longing welled up in his chest. He had done this before, been kissed gently like this. Once he had been loved and cared for. 

He would not be used again.

He pushed Helel back until he stumbled and fell. Lucilius climbed on top of him slotting one of his knees between Helel’s legs. Helel shrank back a bit, but his expression betrayed unrestrained longing.

“I am not your gentle Eve nor am I your traitorous Lilith. I am myself.”

Helel’s hand rose up to touch his face lovingly. “It doesn’t matter what you are, I will always love you.”

“...Then you are a fool.” He leaned down and again their lips met. This time he was not gentle. He bore down on the man, pressing his full weight onto him. Teeth, tongue, and lips reclaimed what once had been his. The sharp taste of iron graced his tongue as his other half’s blood filled his mouth. 

Helel would not forget this.

With sharp gauntlets, he tore at the flimsy strap of the pure white garments that decorated the speaker's frame. They fell away from the smooth skin in tattered ribbons exposing his chest fully. His mouth trailed down to map out the unmarred flesh, marking out new paths with his lips. 

A low moan resounded like music from Helel’s lungs, his eyes squeezed shut.

How good it felt to explore this body once again, to strum the other’s strings like a harp. He would have him; in every way that he desired him, he would have him.

The knee that rested between his thighs pushed up against him and he gasped as the sensation registered in his mind. It was more than just a simple hurried touch. Against him, Helel was fire, and he ice. The contact burned like hot water over frozen fingers. 

He wanted more.

With far more force, he ground down against the bent knee. Back and forth he rocked his hips letting the rough friction of their clothes drag against sensitive flesh. It felt good, satisfying in a way that it could never have before. But why then did his limbs feel heavy and a burden weigh down his chest?

Lucifer.

Once this body had belonged to his artificial Adam, once what he felt Lucifer had instead experienced. The loss of the angel still twisted through him, conflicting him in ways that he did not entirely understand. All Lucifer had been was a stepping stone, an important building block in his creation. Why did using his flesh like this fill him with regret.

“This new shape you created for yourself suits you.” Helel pet a hand through his hair, pushing a stray lock of white out of his eyes. “So why then… Lucilius, do you look so unhappy?” The name sounded unnatural on the other’s tongue. 

He hardened his heart.

“You would not understand.”

This body was not his and yet, he had never felt as at home as he did now in his own flesh, that much was certain. What grieved him was not the shape that his body now took on it was the loss of the creature that had once resided within it.

A sorrowful look danced along Helel’s features.

“Prepare yourself for me.” He commanded sharply, not willing to entertain this line of thought any longer. He had no reason to bare his soul to one who did not have the capacity to understand.

Helel hesitated. His hand stopped its gentle movements and for a moment, surprise lit up his face. Maybe it was from the forwardness of the request. Maybe it was because of false expectations of how this would go. But, in spite of the uncertainty, his reluctance did not last for long. 

In other cases, he was certain that other measures of preparation would need to be taken before attempting an act like this, but this place that they lay together in was unreality. When he lifted up the hem of Helel’s robes for him and watched the true speaker slipped two fingers inside himself he saw that they continently came back slick with oil. 

How irritating.

If not for the way that the metal of his gauntlets had fused into his very flesh he would have done the work himself. Maybe he still could have… The thought of tearing him apart from the inside was appealing, but now was not the time for that. Yes, he was growing impatient, but he could not deny the satisfaction he felt watching his ‘superior half’s display himself in such an unbecoming way.

It felt good to see him twist himself in such a way. How much bending could he take before he would break?

As the other carefully worked himself open, he moved back to watch, replacing his hands on the man’s bare thighs. He spread the legs open further, digging the sharp tips of his gauntlets into soft flesh. 

Helel whimpered, but whether it was from Lucilius or his own fingers inside himself it was unclear. 

“I remember it now, how our master told you to discard me.” A smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth. Carefully he undid the closer on the front of his pants and pulled himself out. The tip of his cock dripped, the head an angry red from the anticipation. “I asked too many questions, sought out too many answers on my own. When I discovered the truth of the creator’s plans, I was cast out, replaced.”

He grasped the other man’s wrist and forced it away. Helel was prepared enough to take him, anymore would be a waste of time to provide unnecessary comfort. At this point he would fit. 

“Was that why I was placed in such a weak undying body with no memories of my past? It was punishment for my insubordination.” 

A sneer split his lips as he lined himself up with the other man. The simplicity of it all! What cruel vengeance his creator had rained down on him!

All those years he had sought the truth, even if the heavens had not been empty and his plight had been heard, it would have gone unanswered. God had abandoned him long before he had abandoned everything else.

With a powerful snap of his hips he thrust himself inside the other man, forcing himself in as far as he could in one go. The other man clenched around him, drawing him in with an unrestrained cry. 

“I tried to beg for your forgiveness.” Helel shook beneath him as their bodies began to melt into one. “Our master assured me it was for the best.”

“Your master.” He corrected cruelly. “I am the only one who governs my fate. His forgiveness would mean nothing to me.”

He pulled himself back and pushed in again, sliding in further this time. 

“You love me, don’t you Helel.”

“I do, I do!” He choked out a sob as he drove himself in again and again. His pace was fast and hard. “I love you Lili- Lucilius!”

“Is that so.” He smiled satisfied with the fool’s response. He leaned forward to reward him with a chaste kiss. “Do you love me more than your creator?”

It was clear that the question caused him strife; that was the point of the line of questioning. Still, he had not expected this intensity. Helel bit his lip, his eyes betraying the conflicting thoughts that filtered through his mind. 

Was it really going to be this easy to take advantage of him?

“No? So all this is to you is a bout of rebellion while the master is away. Once he returns you’ll cast me aside again won’t you?”

“N-no! I would never!”

“Good.” He growled out in a low voice. “You’re mine, remember that. You chose to come crawling back to me.”

Helel whimpered and then nodded in confirmation, his eyes squeezing shut. “Lucilius, I’m s-so close.”

He hissed, taking hold of the other’s throat roughly. “Look at me.”

Helel opened his eyes, slowly. Tears blurred in them. 

Lucilius smiled sweetly, the edges jagged, broken glass. “Cum for me.”

Immediately thick, translucent seed spilled from his cock. It stained his torn robes and painted the floor around the pair of them. The speaker’s strong clear voice broke free from his lungs, the name Lucilius had long ago abandoned on his tongue. 

Calm collected fury was what drove him to shatter the speaker’s voice box. The sight of the man’s mangled throat was what drove him to his own release. He grunted and stilled, unwilling to give Helel the satisfaction of his own voice as he emptied himself into the shuddering man.

If this face and this flesh would only bring him torment, then they would also be done away with. Helel would learn, next time he would not be so careless.

**Author's Note:**

> I sure just threw this into the void of the internet without giving it a second look over
> 
> Feel free to kick my ass on twitter @_Hanged_Man I respond a bit better to messages there.


End file.
